The race for presidential, gubernatorial and other politically elective positions begins in less than 24 hours. Just like in football, the season is officially declared opened tomorrow, Wednesday, Sept 28, by the Independent National Electoral Commission, INEC.
The way to know is that politicians will come at your doorstep seeking your votes with all manner of promises and cajolery. You will never get tired of seeing them during this long season.
Officially, the campaigns starts tomorrow. This means politicians and their political parties can now openly launch their campaigns and seek votes.
In this piece, we shall look at a few things that you may need to know as the campaigns begin in full force:
1. Social media noise
No doubt, you are on social media. Social media makes noise about anything from Nkechi Blessing sharing dildos at her late mother’s remembrance to how some housemates have their baths in the Big Brother Naija House. Social media has you covered on every topic. Politics is no exception.
Social Media influencers will cash out big time during this ‘transfer’ season.
They just need to know the right people to call or talk to. If you’re an influencer, don’t dull yourself and don’t let anyone tell you stories.
Making noise on social media for politicians is a big deal in this season. If not for anything, we all want a better country isn’t it (Let’s pretend that we all do at least)?
Even some politicians who will tell you social media doesn’t matter are investing heavily in influencers. E shock you?
So, expect high level noise about candidates on social media in the coming days. Hashtags will be in excess supply.
If you are the type that hates politics like me, I suggest you log off from your social media accounts. Even if you log out, you will still dream about the noise. So, don’t even try it.
2. Insecurity
There is insecurity in Nigeria. No day goes by without reports of kidnapping, banditry, or armed robbery.
It’s not like we don’t know this. But, in this season, politicians will talk about this more, annoyingly so.
You will hear them say things like “My brother or relative was attacked just yesterday” or “Opposition thugs want to kill me” etc etc. All these years, nobody wants to kill them, it’s now that they want our votes that they will be killed.
In this season, politicians will talk about insecurity like they care about us. Don’t be surprised to hear things like: “I will bring expatriates from Israel and America to fight insecurity.”
At least, now we know that there is insecurity in the land.
3. Branded “gifts”
Have you received a special gift like Valentine’s, from someone before? You felt special right? For politicians, this season is Valentine’s Day for you. They will be generous with their gifts to you. The gifts come branded with party logos etc.
Don’t expect a diamond ring or gold wristwatch from politicians during this season please.
Manage your expectations. But trust me, they will show you unconditional love with their 2 congos of rice, agbado, ewa, garri and dodo. That is their way of fighting hunger. After all, fighting hunger is core to the United Nations Sustainable Development Goals (SDGs).
Politicians know you love fashion. If you are a fashionista, our politicians got you covered.
They have pre-ordered their branded 4-yard “Ankara” and vests for you too. They love “Made-in-Nigeria.”
So, our local fabric industry will get busy during this season. Tailors and printers have struck gold. It’s their season. Please let them enjoy it!
4. Slogans or candidates and political parties
The season will be a contest of slogans. We seem to all love – or hate, slogans. The PDP presidential candidate seems to have adopted the “Unifier” as his 2023 slogan while the APC flagbearer is widely known as “Emilokan”.
There are also the OBIdients army, they’re not descendants of Abraham known for his biblical sacrifice of his only son, they’re ‘proud labourers’.
For the most part, you will start hearing these slogans in your dreams. In fact, some musicians will sing using these slogans. You will also hear the reversed versions of these slogans from opposing camps. It is not uncommon to hear “UniFIRE” or “Ikulokan” or OBItuaries these days.
In any case, the slogans will be with us or part of “Memes” on social media in the coming months.
5. “Crowds”
The season will be a contest of crowds. If you have enochlophobia – fear of crowds – I really don’t know how to help you. Politicians love crowds like the Romans love wines.
Don’t be surprised to hear “One Million (Wo)Man March for Candidate A” in a country that is still struggling to conduct accurate census.
Even though there is no place that can singularly host a hundred thousand people without a stampede in Nigeria, politicians will tell you they were able to mobilise 1 million people – about the population of Bayelsa State – in one venue (9th wonder of the world)!
6. “Incoming”
One of the things you will hear frequently during this campaign is addressing candidates as “incoming”.
For instance, supporters of a presidential candidate will address him or her as “incoming president” even though the candidate will only end up getting a handful of votes from his family members.
Addressing candidates as “incoming” is a morale-boosting strategy to keep the hopes of campaigns alive.
If you hear “incoming” attached to a candidate’s name, just know it’s not like his or her supporters really think he will win, but just a way of boosting morale or getting him or her to “drop something”.
God help you if you don’t “drop” after several hailings with both hands up. Body go tell you.
7. Dancing, singing, music
Who is your favourite musician or artiste? If your favourite artist is not a political enthusiast, you may not really feel the need to attend a campaign rally. Trust me, politicians have their ways of bringing artistes to their rallies.
If your favourite artiste is not on a campaign trail, trust me, it’s not because they were not contacted or, better still, they are not that popular.
Even dead artistes find their ways to the campaign trails. It is not uncommon to find Fela’s song played on campaign trails.
Campaign rallies are fun. Gone are the days there were grounds for displaying weapons or infighting. There are more like orchestras these days.
Even if you do not like the politician contesting, you can as well go and enjoy songs or “live performances” from your favourite artistes.
Whatever you do, just make sure you get your PVC just so chants like “top to bottom” won’t be the only thing you’d be proud of come next four years.